Slight Light
by EidolonLathi
Summary: A harmless conversation over dinner makes Okuyama remember some things he wished would have stayed buried in his mind forever. Trying his best do deal with it by himself he is surprised to suddenly get support from an unexpected side. [SatoxOkuyama]


_Summary:_ _A harmless conversation over dinner makes Okuyama remember some things he wished would have stayed buried in his mind forever. Trying his best do deal with it by himself he is surprised to suddenly get support from an unexpected side. [Sato/Okuyama]_

_Warnings: Mentioning of past suicide_

_Authors Note: Though most of my Ajin fic is supposed to be set in the manga verse, this fic is strongly inspired by the wonderful character dynamics taking place in the anime. _

**Slight Light**

Spending time with Takahashi could be fun. But it also could be extremely annoying. Like right now, when he was in one of his unbearable chatty moods. Okuyama concentrated on his dinner and just tried to ignore him.

"It was so horrible. I couldn't stop shivering and my heart was beating so fast I thought that's it, it's going to jump right out of my chest. I'm surprised I didn't die. I swear, that was the last time I bought cocaine from this unreliable guy", Takahashi said.

Gen just nodded in agreement.

Tanaka, who had been silently glaring in at Takahashi sighed in annoyance. "Excuse me, but are we supposed to feel sorry for you? Just stop taking that crap already."

"Oh Tanaka, stop being this uptight. What's the worst that can happen? If I catch an overdose I'm just going to regenerate and it will be fine again", Takahashi said.

"That stuff makes you impulsive and difficult to deal with, that's the worst that can happen. It's been getting out of control lately", Tanaka said.

Okuyama just kept eating that fried rice Gen had cooked today. I was surprisingly delicious. Okuyama would never have guessed that Gen of all people could cook this good. Still staring at his plate, Okuyama noticed Sato moving who had been silent up to this point.

"Look Takahashi, what you do in your free time is your decision. But if is starting to influence our operations it really would be a better idea if you'd stop taking any." Sato said, wearing that unreadable smile of his and continued: "And though it's your business I must admit I'm surprised you still feel comfortable taking any drugs."

Takahashi showed an embarrassed smile like a little boy who had been caught playing a prank. "Yeah, ok, I get how that might look weird but it's not like it matters anymore, doesn't it? We regenerate if anything happens."

Sato still smiled. "But it takes a moment for us to recover. In that short time we're completely helpless. So it's important to have as much control over those circumstances as we can. If an overdose happens to you it can be at a sudden and unplanned time, so it's really less than ideal."

Takahashi shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment. Suddenly Okuyama felt a little bit sorry for him. Not for the scolding. Takahashi should that have seen that coming. But for the fact that he wasn't as much in control of his circumstances as he wanted to make anyone believe.

But then Okuyama's thoughts were stopped by Tanaka's voice. "Wait, what does Sato mean he's surprised you're still taking drugs? Did something happen or what?"

Takahashi looked at Sato, face suddenly looking guarded. Sato just shrugged his shoulders. "That's really something you should hear from Takahashi himself instead of me. That means, only if he wants to talk about it."

Takahashi shoved a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Ah, it's nothing. I guess Sato's just surprised I'm still using though I died from an overdose. I mean my first death, which made me realize that I'm an ajin."

"What for real?", Gen said, eyes wide open with surprise. Seemed like Takahashi had not even told him.

Tanaka just stared in surprise at Takahashi until he had found his speech again. "And after all of this you still fell like taking this stuff? Do you ever learn from your mistakes?"

"Oh, stop being this judgemental. I never made fun of your death." And after a moment of thinking continued: "I don't even know how you died. Or any of you. But I'm the one that has to explain himself. That's not fair."

"Fine, fine, it's not fair that you're the only one who has to talk about his death. If I tell you mine you can't complain anymore. Motorcycle accident. There, satisfied now?", Tanaka sighed.

Takahashi continued eating, suddenly looking exhausted. "Yeah, I guess that's ok."

"Hey, do you want to hear about my death too? I had the flu, and was ill, I mean, really, really ill. And then my fever went up this high during the night that I died from it. From fever! See, now everyone knows about me too", Gen said, smiling at Takahashi.

"Yeah, ok", Takahashi said, showing a weak but real smile. Gen made that often, Okuyama realized, making Takahashi smile.

"Hey, Okuyama, what about you?", Gen asked.

Of course. Of course he had to ask. Okuyama strongly gripped the spoon he was holding. "Oh, it was dull, you know. Not very interesting to talk about."

"Ah, come on, we're curious now", Gen insisted.

Okuyama tried to remain calm. As long as his face didn't give anything away it was fine. He tried to find a better reason so that he could avoid talking about it. Or this could get really awkward.

"Don't pressure him", Sato suddenly said.

Gen sighed in disappointment and continued eating his dinner.

Okuyama looked at his plate. He didn't feel hungry anymore. Besides, he nearly was done eating anyway. He looked at the window. It was already dark outside. "I should go upstairs. I want to finish getting all the data we need for out next move", he said to no one in particular, carrying his plate to the sink.

"This late? Awesome, you're so hardworking, Okuyama!", Gen said, eyes shining with admiration.

"No, not at all", Okuyama answered, heavily resting on his cane while climbing up the stairs.

O O O

In his defence, Okuyama got some work done. But not all of it and not nearly as much as he had planned. He got surprised by it himself, but once the door to his room had shut, he found that he really needed to sit down. His knees had begun to shake and every breath he took hurt. Trying to calm down he blankly stared at the computer screen. His eyes were burning but if he blinked he could manage. He would not cry, he just would not, he did not want to. Finally feeling a little bit better he began his work just to discover that his hands were slightly shaking. Great.

Continuing his task helped him calm down but he couldn't entirely suppress the fact that he still felt upset. Way after midnight he stopped, feeling too exhausted to continue. The building had gone quiet. He would go to sleep too. Soon. At first he needed a cup of tea or something. It would help him to calm down. And tomorrow, once he had slept, this unnecessary outburst of his would be forgotten.

Once he had made his way downstairs he saw that the lights in the kitchen were already on. And really, he wasn't alone. Though it already was this late Sato was still drinking coffee. Not that Okuyama was surprised by this. Sato seemed to drink tons of it, no matter what time of the day it was.

Sato wore that blank expression of his Okuyama just could not read. "You are still up too? Don't tell me you have been working this whole time?", Sato asked.

"I have. The information got in very smoothly so I didn't even notice the time."

"Did it? Gen is right, the things you're doing really are awesome." And then Sato showed that slight smile Okuyama found even more unreadable than the blank face. "But don't overdo it. You're always doing so much, there's no need to feel that it isn't enough."

"Yeah, ok." Okuyama weakly smiled back, continuing to prepare his tea. The red and yellow pattern of the mug looked awfully shrill in the bright neon light. He hobbled to the table Sato was sitting at, overly aware how graceless it must look when he walked with his cane. Not that walking without it was an option. He sat down on a wooden chair, glad that he could avoid using one of the uncomfortable plastic ones.

No, the things he was doing weren't enough, no matter what Sato said. If Okuyama just had been a bit faster at realising what he had been seeing on the surveillance cameras back at Forge Security, he would have noticed what had been happening and he could have figured Tosaki's trap out before all four of them had been caught by it. In the end he had not been able to do anything. Their sedated bodies would have been sent down to the lab and would be experimented on right in this moment if it hadn't been for Sato who had rescued them all. The least Okuyama could do was making sure their future plans would be a success. He was good with technical things and at least with them he refused to be a disappointment.

Okuyama realized that he had been too quiet for too long when Sato's voice shook him out of his reverie. "I'm sure he meant no harm but Gen's question upset you, didn't it?"

"Maybe a bit, the whole issue came up so sudden", Okuyama admitted. He avoided looking into Sato's eyes, staring at his mug instead. "It's nothing. Gen's questions just made me remember some stupid things. It's not his fault, I shouldn't be so upset just because of some memories." Okuyama still didn't really want to talk about it. But with Sato asking him about it, he felt like refusing to speak about it was no longer an option. Besides, it was something else with only the two of them talking instead of everyone listening.

"I thought you looked upset", Sato said.

If Takahashi took cocaine he was unreliable to work with. If Okuyama felt sad he worked slower. Making sure they were ok wasn't much more for Sato than repairing a machine and making sure it worked without any glitches. And yet. Though he knew all of this Okuyama still felt thankful that Sato had stopped Gen's curious questions. He was so used of solving everything by himself that it had come as a complete surprise that someone had come to his aid when he had been too stressed to think of a suitable answer. People didn't help him. Not without wanting something in return. So despite everything he still felt thankful, though he realised this help hadn't been completely free of self-serving motives.

"But you gave me a way out of it, I think I should thank you for it", Okuyama said.

"No, not at all. Besides, I have an idea why the whole matter makes you uncomfortable, so anything else would have been cruel."

Cruel. Did Sato really care if anyone of them was treated cruelly? But then, this was just the same as him intervening with Takahashi's little drug problem. Making sure the machine worked without a glitch. If Sato was under the impression that Okuyama was having a problem that made him inefficient he would try to remove the problem. And thinking back at the whole disaster with Tosaki's trap Okuyama couldn't blame him.

Okuyama sighed. He was glad his tea had cooled down enough for him to take a sip. That gave him something to do instead of just sitting around. "What is your idea then?"

"Everyone here died either because of an accident or an illness. Not you though. I think at some point you had been so desperate that you saw no other way than taking your own live."

Ah, Sato had figured it out, of course. He had managed to express his discovery with tactful words, Okuyama had to give him that. A lot better than for example "You killed yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes, that's how it was", Okuyama said.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." To Okuyama's surprise Sato really looked like he meant it.

"It was stupid thing to do. I was stupid. When I look back at it today I get angry with me for ever having done something so foolish. I just want to forget about it."

"And then Gen brings it up."

"It just took me by surprise. It has been such a long time, so I really shouldn't be bothered by it anymore. But how am I supposed to talk about it? It's complicated to explain."

"Yes, I get that. It's a sad thing. What happened that it came that far?"

If it had been anyone else Okuyama would have refused to say any more. But he still had the feeling that at least for Sato it was okay to ask these things. And Okuyama might have been wrong but he was sure he had seen the slightest glint of compassion in Sato's eyes. Okuyama just hoped that it had been sincere.

Yes, what had happened? Everything, really. Beginning with his right leg, the everlasting elephant in the room. It had always been weak, so as he had to grow up with it he'd always been good at dealing with the limitations it gave him. He had his cane and if his ill leg meant that he moved a bit slower or a bit unsure at times, so what about it? But there were other people reminding him that he was different, that was what. Other kids had been upfront and cruel about it: "No, you can't play with us, you are too slow. Haha, you have to use a cane, you look like an old man. No wonder that you're so fat when you can barely move." Adults had rarely been upfront but they could be cruel nonetheless. Not necessary by using words. They could express things with a derogatory stare that a whole speech wasn't sufficient to express. Okuyama never minded, not even when he still had been a kid. He just had held their gaze and the moment they had realized he had noticed them they would avert their eyes. His parents were different though. They always had felt ashamed by the attention his leg would draw on him. Not that they didn't love him. They did. Very much. But even though they never talked about it Okuyama felt that they would be happy for the cane to be gone not only for his sake but for theirs too. And if some of his extra pounds would disappear together with the cane too that also would have been seen as a welcome change.

Not that they ever had said that to him either. He still could hear the upbeat voice his mother had sometimes gotten when the two of them had sat together for dinner after he had come home from school. "Oh Masumi, you've become such a fine young man. I hope you'll find a cute girlfriend, you deserve it." As an answer he had always just smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. "You really think so? Thanks." That had been the most sensible thing he could have done. After all there was no way he could explain to her that though some girls could be really nice he was not interested in them whatsoever and that he would rather have a boyfriend in-stead. Besides, that would have been hypothetical talk anyway. Back then he could not imagine that any guy he found cute would be interested in having a chubby, computer obsessed cripple as a boyfriend.

Ah yes, computers. Of course, the only thing he was good at and brought him joy also ended up being another thing his parents felt ashamed of. Of course they found it good that Okuyama knew how to deal with technology. But for their tastes he spent too much time before a screen, such an unsociable activity. And all those hours he wasted playing games. Okuyama did not care too much that his classmates had begun calling him an otaku but he knew that his parents minded.

Except that Okuyama had actually minded too. The nicknames, the stares, his weak leg that made him stand out though all he wanted was to be left alone. Every reminder that he was different had hurt and all of it coming together had hurt a lot. Now, that he was older he knew how to cope with it but back then he still had been a teenager and a more sensitive one than he would have ever admitted towards anyone.

Today he was aware of his strengths. If someone dismissed him because of his ill leg he just showed them how good he was with technical things until they had to acknowledge his skills and had to take him seriously. That's what had gotten him through the last few years. That had been the reason Sato had accepted him to be part of this group.

But his younger self had been so discouraged that he hadn't seen this strength for what it was and viewed it as just one more flaw that made him stand out as weird.

All this thoughts stormed through Okuyama's head, yet he still didn't know how to put any of this into words. He still tried to answer Sato's question: "The reason it happened? There wasn't really one big reason but a whole bunch of them that were adding up. Until one moment I couldn't deal with it any longer. I didn't know how to stop any of these problems and I couldn't imagine them ever getting better. I was too young to know any better and it all just hurt so much."

"What hurt?"

Okuyama took a sip of his tea, just to find out that his hands were shaking again. He didn't care if the concern in Sato's voice was genuine or not, Okuyama had decided that he would continue talking. Now that he had started he had found that he did not want to stop. He had carried this shameful secret with himself for so long and he felt relieved to finally talk about it with someone.

"All the things you take too seriously if you're still a teenager. My classmates weren't very nice to me and I didn't know what to do to make them stop. No matter how hard I tried my parents were always disappointed with me. And you know, that thing here." Okuyama pointed at his cane. "There was no chance of my leg ever getting better. I learned how to deal with it but people never made me forget that being ill made me different. From a certain point on I was just the chubby kid with the cane. I just wanted to be left alone but nothing I did changed anything."

Thoughtfully Sato looked at Okuyama's cane. "That must have been horrible."

"Well, it was. I'm older now so meanwhile I learned how to deal with all that stuff." Okuyama patted his right leg. "I even learned to deal with this though some people act weird because of it."

"You know, it probably sounds strange but the thing with your leg, I understand it a bit better than you might think."

Okuyama looked up in surprised. "How so? That's the last thing I would have thought of. It was only thanks to you that every one of us got out of Tosaki's trap." If anything Sato was the exact opposite of what Okuyama was capable to do with his body.

Sato looked at Okuyama, thinking. For a moment Okuyama's breath hitched. There was not only concentration in those light brown eyes, being at the end of that stare would have been unsettling enough. But there suddenly was a hint of curiosity. Okuyama had realized since some time that the thing Sato disliked the most was boredom. So Okuyama did not know what to make of this. He himself was not very interesting after all.

Sato seemed to have reached a decision and continued talking. "You told me so much about yourself today, it's only fair if you get to know something about me too. I tell you a secret about the time before I realized I was an ajin."

"A secret?" Now Okuyama really was surprised. Sato never told much about himself. Especially not about his past. And Okuyama never would have asked. So this really came as a surprise.

"Maybe it's a bit much to call it a secret but then what's the point of anyone knowing? The thing is, I can relate how you feel about your leg because when I was around your age I got seriously injured. I lost my right leg, down from the knee."

For a moment Okuyama was speechless. That really was not something he would have guessed. Maybe a complicated broken leg with a long recovery phase but certainly not this.

"I surprised you." Sato smiled and Okuyama felt that this smile was a genuine one.

"Ah, yes, quite. I wouldn't have guessed." Not at all.

"So what you said before, about just being the guy with the crutches, I get that. You see, for quite some time I used to be the guy with the prosthetic leg. Which was awful but still a lot better than the time before I learned to walk again. During that time I was the guy in the wheelchair", Sato said, looking disgusted by the memory.

Okuyama nodded. "I see." Except that he couldn't quite imagine all of this. Imagining Sato bound to crutches or even a wheelchair was just something that did not fit. Okuyama himself never had had the chance to move normally. But the Sato he knew was so different from himself. Not only had he gotten Okuyama and the others out from Tosaki's trap at Forge Security, he had having fun doing so. Thinking of a person like this being under restrictions was just all wrong. Not only this, for a person like Sato there could be hardly anything more humiliating than having permanent injuries like this and therefore losing parts of his independence. Once more Okuyama was surprised that Sato was telling him all of this.

"You told me a lot", Okuyama said, still at loss for words.

"I thought I should do so. I was worried about you."

"You shouldn't have been. I'm good at dealing with stuff like this."

"That's what I mean. You don't need to feel that you have to deal with everything by yourself. You give the impression that you're afraid to look weak, but you don't have to."

Suddenly Okuyama felt a pang of frustration. "Yes, I have to. You see, the thing is that I am weak, I know that. That cane won't let me forget this and thanks to it the people around me certainly won't either. The only thing I can do is to be the best at the things I'm good at and make up for it like that."

"You're reliable and hardworking, it's more than enough." Sato showed a slight smile. "And as you know now I'm in a situation to judge things like this so please believe me when I say that this is the truth, ok?"

Okuyama felt a blush creeping up his neck. He didn't know how to deal with being praised, especially not by someone as calculating as Sato. But it had felt genuine enough so maybe he could accept it this time. "Yeah, ok."

O O O

Okuyama blamed it on the weather. It had been raining for days and though bad weather normally didn't bother him, more than a week of darkness and wetness had dampened his spirit a bit. So through it was only late in the afternoon he had already abandoned his work. Instead he had somehow ended up before the TV, playing Super Mario together with Sato. Okuyama could neither remember the last time he had played any Mario game nor the last time he had played games on a console instead of on the computer. And it had been some time he had gotten beaten at Mario.

"Not this again", Okuyama sighed, as Sato got the better results than him. While playing as Luigi, no less.

"Don't be upset. I told you I'm good at this."

"Yes, but I'm the one playing games all the time. I should be better."

"Once again you did not listen well enough. You may play a lot, but I've been playing these sorts of games since they've existed. You weren't even born then. Time is on my side with this, that's all", Sato said, smiling with satisfaction.

Okuyama hesitated for a moment, thinking. "Wait, this long? That must been since the mid 80's. That's really a long time."

"Once I started playing I couldn't stop. It was so exiting. I mean, back then I hadn't had much reason to be excited about anything so when games were appearing it was a welcome change."

While speaking Sato's expression had suddenly turned thoughtful. Sudden realization hit Okuyama. Of course there hadn't been much excitement for Sato. Not with a lost leg. And for just how long did he have to live like that? It couldn't be too many years since Sato had discovered that he was an ajin, right? Thinking about it made Okuyama fuzzy in the head but there was no way he could ask any of this. Instead he just said: Well, it's a good thing for all of us that you like games. Your knowledge about the MSFS came in very handy."

Taken by surprise Sato only laughed. "You sound impressed."

"I've played the MSFS myself but I don't think that I would be able to fly a real plane. So yeah, I'm impressed about it."

"It isn't that different actually. But doing the real thing is so much more fun than a game."

Of course Sato had fun doing it, just as Okuyama would have guessed. But then Sato was actually quite simple to read. Actually.

Having his turn at the game again Okuyama moved his Mario through the next level. Moving him through the level and dealing with the turtles. Concentrated at the gameplay like this, Sato's next words took him by surprise: "I was so glad when I got my leg back. I thought that's it, getting used to that prosthetic leg and having only games to be excited about. And then suddenly everything went back to normal."

"I can imagine." Okuyama could. Being ill and then unexpectedly getting better had to be something wonderful. Okuyama wished his leg would get healthy with his regeneration too. But even if he felt a bit sad about that, the thought of a Sato who suddenly was all well again just felt so right. Okuyama couldn't help himself but to show a little smile.

Apparently that smile had looked sad despite his best efforts. Because suddenly Sato gave him that concentrated look again. "Was that something thoughtless to say? Yes, it was. I get better when I regenerate, your leg stays the same. I'm sorry."

Great, now Okuyama looked like an oversensitive crybaby. "What? No, not at all. My leg is my problem to deal with. I think it's wonderful you got yours back."

"That's kind of you to say. I still should have realized."

"Hey, it's ok. I'm good at dealing with it, remember?"

"Yes, you are."

"It's only annoying when it's raining", Okuyama said.

"Oh, yeah, a cane and an umbrella. I remember. Horrible to deal with", Sato said.

"Very much so."

Sato sighed in exaggeration: "You need to find someone you can share an umbrella with when it's raining, that's the secret."

This was getting absurd. Okuyama suppress a laugh, nearly losing his Mario's fire flower through a turtle while doing so. "I keep that in mind, thanks. Until then I have my raincoat."

"You should keep it in mind."

Okuyama shook his head, allowing a quiet laugh to escape. It was not like people who wanted to share an umbrella with him were lining up. The strange mood made him giddy enough to muster up the courage for his next question: "About legs and stuff, do you have yours back since a long time?"

"Not very long, no. Some years ago", Sato answered calmly, getting his Luigi ready for the next level he had to go through.

"I see", Okuyama said, not asking any further. Though the answer was vague, it was enough. And he felt that Sato hadn't been obligated to answer it anyway. It was just, his entire life Okuyama had to deal with his ill leg all by himself. It was actually kind of nice to have someone who could relate to his situation. Someone who understood exactly what he was talking about. Because having to explain everything in detail over and over again could sometimes get really exhausting.

They continued to play until it was dark. Not that the change in light was very obvious during a dark rainy day like this. Sato won, though he had played as Luigi all the time.

O O O

Normally Okuyama liked spending time with Tanaka. It was possible to have an actual conversation with him and Okuyama had the impression that unlike most people Tanaka actually listened to what you had to say. It made things easier, not only planning this ongoing second wave of attacks they were currently preparing, but also the simple act of spending daily life together.

But today had been different. Okuyama had felt it. Not only made Tanaka the impression that he wanted to tell him something, he also made the impression that he wanted to talk to Okuyama when no one else would be listening. Which actually was not that much of a deal. They often spend time together alone. But when they did it was in a relaxed mood, not a tense one like this.

The last ten minutes Okuyama had explained to Tanaka what kind of data he had managed to gather this far though Okuyama had been under the impression that Tanaka had not really been listening. And now that everything had been told Tanaka was still hanging around in Okuyama's computer room. Something was coming, that much was clear.

"You know, the things you had been saying to me back then, it really helped me to understand all of it better. Thanks", Tanaka said, visibly having to stop his hands from fidgeting around.

"Oh, that's good. But when we talked about what exactly?", Okuyama asked, trying to look nonchalant and friendly through having felt the tension that had been in the air all day he felt a bit uncomfortable.

"When I told you that I had trouble understanding what Sato was thinking. And you explained it to me. I understand it now and that has made things easier again. So thank you."

"It's okay, no big deal at all. I just told you what I was thinking." Okuyama still felt vary. There had to be more.

"It may not seem much to you but it helped me a lot. Especially now. You know, I have the feeling that Sato is still angry at me because of what I did at Forge Security."

"Ah that, because you stayed back. To help that woman", Okuyama said. He waited for Tanaka to continue talking.

Struggling to find the right words Tanaka sighed in frustration. "You don't get it either, don't you?"

"Well, not really."

"Look. The people we had killed that far really deserved it. They were not sorry for what's been done to the ajin at all. The contrary, they thought treating us like that is the right thing to do. That woman though, she was forced into participating with the experiments. And she honestly felt sorry, not only because she had been targeted. So I thought, if she really regrets what she has been doing, then killing her is a bit too much."

For a moment Okuyama said nothing but just looked Tanaka in the eyes, thinking. Having reached a decision, he said: "Remember when I told you how I had been bullied in school?"

"Yes, I do", Tanaka said.

"You know who I hated the most? Not necessary the bullies. The people I despised the most were the bystanders who knew what was going on but never helped me anyway. They just stood there and watched. I'm not even sure they felt that sorry for me, they probably were just glad it wasn't them getting harassed. That woman you're talking about is exactly one of those bystanders. You say she seemed to be sorry. Yet she was cooperating with Tosaki to get all of us caught. So how sorry can she really be?"

"Yeah… yeah, you have a point." Tanaka shook his head. "I know I fucked up. Sato implied as much."

"What, did he say something?"

"That it had been a surprise to see me getting this overemotional. When he said it he looked at me like I was crazy."

"Okay."

"I told him I was sorry but I don't know if that was any help. What else can I do?"

Thoughtfully Okuyama looked out of the window, looking at the sky being coloured in soft orange by the dusk. Being asked for help at technical support was one thing. It was another to have a person before you who trusted you with their emotions. It was not a bad feeling but a bit overwhelming. "I don't think talking about this with Sato will help much. You already said that you're sorry, right? The only thing you can do is to act reliable in the future and be patient. I think Sato's surprised that you of all people acted this emotional and maybe he lost a bit of trust in you.

An unhappy expression crossed Tanaka's face. "Yeah, that might be it. You know, it makes sense if you explain it to me like that." Tanaka sighed "I'm so bad with figuring people out. I'm sorry for always bothering you."

"I don't mind."

Tanaka's voice suddenly got very silent. "You know, I used to be better with people before I got caught and put into that laboratory. And since I got out it's like I forgot how to interact with people." Tanaka's eyes clouded over with hurt. "And I would be back at that place if Tosaki's plan had succeeded. I've really been so stupid."

Okuyama felt sad having to see Tanaka being this angry at himself. "Just do better next time and it will be fine."

"Still."

Okuyama opened his desk drawer and took out two KitKat's. "Stop beating yourself up over it. Here, want to have some dessert?"

"Is this strawberry flavour?"

"Yeah."

"Great! Thanks!"

For a while they ate in silence. Having nearly finished his chocolate Tanaka continued talking. "I still envy you a bit. You always get what Sato's thinking without even having to try."

"I don't know. I guess?"

"He's spending a lot of time with you lately, isn't he?"

Okuyama looked up in surprise. "Just developing the next plan and stuff."

Suddenly Tanaka looked flustered. "I mean, that's good thing. I wasn't trying to imply that this is a problem or something."

Okuyama felt that he was missing a vital part of this conversation. "Yeah. Ok. I haven't really thought about it."

"I just wanted you to know that I think it's a good thing. That's all."

"That's fine. But I'm not entirely sure I understand what you want to say."

Tanaka blushed. "Well, you like him a lot, don't you? And he likes you too, as far as I can tell."

Okuyama needed a moment to comprehend what he had actually just heard. Once he understood it he still didn't know what to say. By the time the shock had left him he had found his voice again. "What? How? Did he say anything?"

"Not directly. It's just the way he talks about you. And you always look so happy when… I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? Maybe I interpreted things the wrong way."

"I'm just really surprised to hear all of this. What happened to give you that idea?"

"I just assumed things, sorry. Told you I forget how to interact with people properly", Tanaka said, still looking flustered.

"It's ok, no problem."

Okuyama took it as a proof of their deepening friendship that the two of them somehow man-aged to put any further awkwardness aside and spend the rest of the evening in a pleasant atmosphere.

But later when he laid in bed Okuyama's thoughts returned to what Tanaka had assumed. Okuyama had claimed that nothing was going on. But was that actually true? Now that he started thinking about it, maybe Tanaka's idea had not been that wrong. In the last few weeks Okuyama and Sato had spent quite some time together. But well, mostly they had just played some video games together, that meant nothing, right? After all Sato loved games. And he liked to compete with others so they were just more fun for him if he could play against an actual opponent. Which could have been anyone. It was just that Takahashi and Gen spent nearly every waking minute together, so succeeding in prying one of them away long enough for an actual game was a rare occurrence. And though Tanaka played video games too, he wasn't nearly as passionate about them as Okuyama, so it was only due to convenient circumstances that it always seemed to be Okuyama who ended up before the game console with Sato. It was not like it meant any-thing. Sato only cared about having someone to compete with, nothing personal in that. Right? Well, ok, there had been that one time Sato had been worried about Okuyama because Gen's talk-ng about all of their first death had made Okuyama upset but he was sure that Sato would have been worried about all of them. It was just a thing of convenience if someone's personal problems threatened the success of their plans to make those issues go away.

So it was really a bit of a stretch if Tanaka looked at all of this and came to the conclusion that… that there was something more going on. Okuyama blushed by the mere thought of it. Because well, truth being told Okuyama couldn't imagine being anyone's first choice. Not that there was something exactly wrong with him. This much he had realised since he had managed to overcome the insecurities that had eaten away his confidence during his teenage years. He guessed he was quite all right. But hardly made out of the stuff other people desired to have. Or at least not the kind of stuff they desired to keep.

And what had Tanaka said? He had gotten this whole weird idea because of the way Sato talked about Okuyama? For a moment Okuyama wished he had asked Tanaka more details about this one but dismissed the idea immediately. Probably Sato was just impressed by how skilful Okuyama was with technology. And what did that mean? It wasn't exactly the kind of thing that made people fall in love with you. It was just something that made you useful.

And on the other side. Well, on the other side, first of all things Okuyama was glad to be alone in a dark room that hid his intensifying blush. Normally he did his best not to think about it but the truth was Sato was rather nice to look at. Very much so. But it was a fact Okuyama just did his best to ignore. In fact, he had been so good at suppressing it that he had nearly forgotten about it. What was the point of distracting yourself with things that had no chance of amounting to anything?

Okuyama got aware of his heart beating faster. That was how nervous thinking about all of this made him. But who could blame him. Apathetically he remembered the first time he, Takahashi and Gen had helped collecting organs. Using this special currency to buy their weapons from the yakuza had sounded insanely clever, until the day had come where you actually had to get those organs out. But with everyone participating there was no way you could refuse to do it. Okuyama had given his best not to show any fear. And he had been sure he had succeeded. And yet, shortly before it had been Okuyama's turn, Tanaka had leaned down to him and said: "You know, it's no worse than an appointment at the dentist's. We make sure you get properly knocked out and the next time you regain consciousness it's already over." Tanaka hadn't exactly smiled, but his eyes had lost that frowning look they showed most of the time so that they had actually looked friendly. Okuyama had been so nervous he had not managed to say more than a shaky "Ok" and had managed a crooked smile.

But despite all of this only moments later he had forgotten about his fear. Instead Okuyama had tried his best not to stare. Because right then it had been Sato's turn. Nonchalantly he had taken of his shirt and had gotten ready to get his organs ripped out of him as if it were no big deal. Which for him, it probably was not. But it had not only been this fearless behaviour that had captivated Okuyama's interest. The main reason had been the sight of a shirtless Sato lying on a table. Which had been a very nice sight. But there had not been much time to think about this. Suddenly it had been Okuyama's turn and with dread it occurred to him this that also meant that he had to take his T-shirt off and show his own upper body which was definitely a lot softer than Sato's. These thought's and the fear of what was about to happen had nearly been enough to make Okuyama lose consciousness.

Even now he got embarrassed thinking about it.

So yes, ok, maybe Okuyama liked Sato a little bit too much, what about it? He was good looking enough after all. Except that this whole affection thing was not based on looks alone. Truth to be told Okuyama just liked spending time with Sato. Talking to him was easy. He always seemed to know what Okuyama was thinking, even when Okuyama tried his best to keep the things that where bothering him to himself. And if there was not much to talk about, that was all right too. Spending time in silence with Sato felt really comfortable. And there never had been that many people being keen on spending time with Okuyama, so why should it be wrong if he enjoyed this?

Exhausted Okuyama buried himself deeper into the blankets. He had absolutely no idea what to do with this newfound knowledge.

O O O

The next day was weird. Okuyama tried to act as naturally as possible but that proved to be difficult if you were not sure what your natural behaviour exactly was. After all it is something you did without thinking about and the moment you started overanalysing it everything you did suddenly felt awkward. So Okuyama just tried to be calm and quiet. All of this worked well with Tanaka and the others but the moment he saw Sato Okuyama started to feel horribly self-conscious again. Seriously, what was his normal behaviour around him? And what had Tanaka said the evening before? That Okuyama tended to smile when he was around Sato or something? Was that really true? That remark would not leave Okuyama's mind. For some reason people often told him that he looked earnest or even sad all the time. And now this. He suppressed an exhausted sigh. Trying to make sense of all these things was really complicated.

Once he was back before his computers Okuyama was glad to finally be alone again. Arranging the collected data into a form they could use was a welcome distraction from all the questions that had arisen since yesterday.

The sound of steps moving towards his room took him out of his concentration. The door opened and Sato's black ghost walked in. Okuyama was not surprised. Sato often let it wander around freely to strengthen its sense of self-awareness. Lately it had shown a lot of progress. Not only did it walk around instead of only standing still at one single spot for minutes it had also managed to speak in growing complexity. But sometimes the black ghost also moved under control, it could be hard to tell which the case was. The ghost came to a halt, hesitantly clasping its hands together, a gesture it only showed when moving independently. Okuyama nodded to acknowledge its presence. "Hey there."

As if encouraged the ghost moved closer, looking at the bright lights of the computer screens. Okuyama did not mind it being there. As dangerously it was when fighting under Sato's control, it had never shown any trace of aggression when walking around independently in their quarters.

Now standing next to him, it looked at him, then back to the screens, as if thinking. It began clasping its hands again. "Hi Masumi", it said.

Okuyama went still, staring in disbelieve at the Black Ghost. "Hi there", answered, still not believing what he had just heard.

The black ghost continued talking. "You're still up here. You're so hardworking, you're amazing, Masumi." Then it stopped clasping its hands and walked out of the room again, quietly closing the door behind it.

Okuyama still stared at the door in disbelieve. The ghost had called him Masumi. Not even once had Sato called him by his first name. But even when the ghost spoke independently, it just repeated phrases and sentiments Sato had already said once. So the source of its words had to be Sato in some way. And if the whole first name calling thing was not surprising enough, it had also praised him. Which meant that in some indirect way, it had been Sato who had said these words to him. Once again Okuyama could not fight the warm feeling forming in his chest. Right now he did not care if those sentiments were directed at him for just being useful or because of some deeper feeling behind them. He was just happy for having heard them. He could decide later how he would deal with this confusing matter.

O O O

It had been an uneventful day. And yet Okuyama had felt exhausted. Even now during dinner he could barely muster up the energy to eat. Though Gen had cooked today and it tasted delicious as usual. Okuyama just felt no appetite. Apathetically he stared at his plate and concentrated on gathering up the tiny spoonfuls he managed to swallow.

"Okuyama? Hey Okuyama, are you listening?", Tanaka asked.

Tiredly Okuyama looked up. "Huh? I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear me? Hey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, just tired."

Gen gave Okuyama a worried look. "You're super pale, are you getting ill or something?"

"Your voice sounds hoarse too, looks like you caught a cold", Sato said.

Gen would not stop looking worried. "Let me see if you have a fever", he said. Carefully he laid his hand on Okuyama's forehead. Okuyama nearly flinched away in discomfort. Not because Gen had touched him. He did not mind that at all. But Okuyama's skin was so sensitive, the touch nearly hurt. Not just the part Gen had touched, Okuyama noticed. His entire skin felt sensitive, as if it was on fire.

Gen sighed. "Oh boy, you feel really warm. Looks like you have a fever."

Okuyama shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm just a bit tired, it's ok."

But Gen would not have any of it. "It's not ok. I have some medication against fever, you should take some."

"Or he could just regenerate. That would be faster", Takahashi said with a pondering look.

Gen did not say anything. Instead he just looked shocked, as if someone had slapped him. Tanaka looked at Takahashi, rolling his eyes in disbelieve, Okuyama noticed.

Sato showed that unreadable expression of his and said: "Regenerating just because of a cold is a bit too much. We need to draw a line somewhere or it will become absurd very soon. Okuyama, you should go upstairs and get some rest. You will be well again soon enough."

Okuyama nodded. "All right." He did not feel enough energy to muster up a better answer.

Gen had found his speech again. "I'll get you the medication. It's upstairs somewhere." With this he left table.

Once he was out of earshot Tanaka could not hold back anymore. Sceptically he looked at Takahashi. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"Your comment about regeneration."

Takahashi looked bewildered. "Yes. What about it?"

"Did you forget? Gen died of fever the first time. I think it's a bit of a sensitive subject for him."

Takahashi eyes widened with understanding. "Oh."

Tanaka's expression softened. "You really didn't think of it, didn't you?"

"Yes. No. I mean, of course I remember when he told us. I just did not realize that it would still affect him. But now that you mentioned it, of course it does." Lost in thought Takahashi stared into space. "Oh God. Now that I think about it, dying of fever must be really horrible."

Tanaka sighed. "You don't even mean to be insulting all the time, don't you? You just talk before thinking and then accidents happen."

Furiously Takahashi looked at Tanaka, as if planning to snap at him. But the mild expression Tanaka wore seemed to surprise him. A short moment he seemed to struggle for words until he continued. "I don't know. Maybe. But just for the record, I think it's gotten better since you forced me to stop using. So there."

O O O

Ten minutes later Okuyama was lying in bed, a worried Gen fussing over him.

"The medication you took is not enough. I brought you some cold towels", Gen said. He drenched a wash cloth in cold water and laid it on Okuyama's forehead. "Are you feeling a bit better?"

Actually Okuyama was. And the reason for this was not the medication and the cold towels alone. "I'm better, thank you." Another reason was that he could not remember the last time someone had bothered to look after him when he had been ill. And now a worried Gen would not leave his side. When had it happened? When had been the moment Gen had become his friend? Because a friend he had to be. You did not fuss like this over casual acquaintances, personal trauma or not. Okuyama remember all those times Gen had called him amazing for doing good work or overcoming a difficult obstacle. Gen could get excited fast, so Okuyama felt a bit ashamed that he had never been sure how seriously he could take those praises. But now he knew that Gen had been genuine.

Gen smiled at him. "I'll go downstairs and make you some tea. I'm back in a minute."

"Ok. Thank you", Okuyama said, looking after Gen as he walked out through the door. He suddenly felt melancholic. In a situation like this it was hard to forget that they were not a group of whacky friends on some sort of school trip. Not that Okuyama's school trips ever had been much fun. But he thought, with the friends he had now, maybe they would have been fun. Yes, friends. Because this was the only word that came into his mind. They had to be. After all Okuyama had to trust them with his live. No, obviously not with his live, but with something much more valuable: His wellbeing. After all, if any of them got caught, a fate far worse than death was awaiting them.

And yes, though he would have had trouble saying it out loud, meanwhile he was thinking about them as his friends. With Tanaka it was obvious why. He was the best friend Okuyama had wished for his entire live but never had managed to find. Until he had met Tanaka. Their friendship had just effortlessly fallen into place, as if being around each other was the most natural thing in the world. Now that he thought about it, being friends with Gen and Takahashi had just kind of happened, though Okuyama had been the last one to notice this. And Sato? What about him? Was Sato a friend? Okuyama blushed, recalling the last few weeks. Thanks to Tanaka's comment Okuyama had spent many moments pondering over the question what that … thing… between him and Sato was. Okuyama groaned in frustration. He still had not found an answer to this. But well, if he stayed with the school trip analogy, if Tanaka and the others were his hypothetical classmates then Sato had to be their teacher. Suddenly Okuyama had to withhold a laugh. He blamed it on the fever that his mind was wandering in these strange directions. How wonderful. He tried to forget the whole idea, but the analogy was just too accurate to dismiss. Another laugh threatened to escape him. So if he looked at his weird little comparison Okuyama was actually hot for a teacher.

To his relive Okuyama had managed to get rid of his laughing fit once Gen returned with the tea.

O O O

In the end Gen had insisted to stay at Okuyama's side during the night. "Fevers can become worst at night, so I rather stay with you to make sure you're ok", he had said. Okuyama did not have it in him to send Gen away. It was obvious that Gen's worry over Okuyama was very real. Okuyama remember what Takahashi had assumed this evening. It really must have been a horrible experience for Gen to die from a fever. Okuyama knew that once the human body reached a temperature of 42C the situation became life threatening. How had it been for Gen? Had he been alone, with no one to look after him? Had he been too exhausted to move once his fever became too high? There was no way Okuyama could ask. But once he woke up in the morning, with an alert Gen still at his side, there was something he could do.

"Hey there", Okuyama said, voice still hoarse.

"Good morning. How do you feel?", Gen asked, looking tired but content.

"Better. Much better. I'm just thirsty."

Gen poured him a glass of water. "You need to drink a lot."

Okuyama took the glass. "Thank you. Not just for the water. Thank you for staying. And looking after me."

Gen smiled, a blush creeping over his cheeks. "Ah, you're welcome. But it's no big deal."

"Yes, it is. I'm causing you so many inconveniences."

"No, you don't. And it's just the kind of thing you do for a friend", Gen said, blush deepening.

Okuyama smiled shyly. "You're a great friends. Thanks." It felt awkward to say these things out loud. But at the same time it also felt reassuring.

Gen smiled at him, looking relieved. "You need to drink a lot. I go down and make you some tea."

Gen did not only return with tea, but with the other three accompanying him.

Tanaka could not hide the concern in his eyes while he looked at Okuyama. "Hey, how are you?"

Okuyama managed to show a weak smile. "Much better. No need to worry."

"You look a lot better than yesterday", Sato said.

"It's only thanks to Gen", Okuyama said.

Takahashi looked at Gen and frowned. "So you stayed up all night after all?"

Gen did his best not to look tired. "Of course I did. No big deal."

"You should go to sleep. You can barely hold your eyes open", Takahashi said with badly supressed concern in his voice.

Gen shook his face, a worried look clouding his face. "But… that would be no good."

"I would stay in your place but Takahashi and I have to meet our new informant in an hour", Tanaka said, looking unhappy.

"That's fine. I can stay", Sato said, once again showing his unreadable smile.

Okuyama started feeling overly self-aware by all the attention he was getting. "You all worry too much. I feel much better, I can stay by myself, no problem."

Gen shook his head in disagreement, looking worried.

"No, its fine, I'm going to stay. I'm already prepared for it, see?", Sato said, pointing at the handheld game console he was carrying with him. "

Realising that this discussion was lost Okuyama just sighed. "Well, ok then."

Takahashi looked at Gen. "See? All is settled now. You can go to sleep."

The worried frown around Gen's eyes was softening. "Good. Good then." Gen tiredly went away, taking a reluctant look back before he left the room.

"We should leave too or we will be late", Tanaka said.

Sato looked at him. "About that informant. It's that police guy, right?"

"Not just police, detective. He's in the Anti Ajin Task Force."

Sato raised his eyebrows. "Sounds almost too good to be true. Are you sure we can trust him."

"Yes. But that's why I want Takahashi to come with me today. It's time for a second opinion."

Sato still looked unhappy. "You seem to be sure he's trustworthy. What makes you think so?"

For a moment Tanaka seemed to struggle for the right words. "Because I'm almost certain he's an ajin himself. Though he hasn't said so himself yet, that's the conclusion I have come to."

Takahashi eyes widened in surprise. "What's that, he might be an ajin himself? Hey, but that's dangerous, what if one of his work buddies has him already under suspicion?"

"That's why I want you to come with me. If I'm right and he's really an ajin too, it's only a matter of time until he will join us. He's surrounded by people who can't wait to detect as many ajin as they can. I think the only reason he hasn't told the whole truth yet is because he's not sure if he can really trust us. So do your best to look as reliable as possible, understood?", Tanaka said, nodding towards Takahashi.

"Hey, I'm always reliable", Takahashi said, pouting. And after a moment of silence added. "At least now that you forced me to stop using, so you can stop viewing me with suspicion all the time."

"I want you to come with me, isn't that enough proof of my trust?", Tanaka asked, already frowning again. "And now let's go or we really will be late."

Once they had left the room Okuyama still could hear them arguing. But now that he thought about it, it lacked the malice it had so often shown before. Nowadays their arguments sounded almost endearing, like some sort of playful competition. Well, that was certainly preferable to the serious fights Tanaka and Takahashi used to have.

Sato's voice interfered Okuyama's thought. "Did you just hear that, Okuyama? It's starting to get interesting. We could gain quite the advantage if that police guy turns out to be trustworthy." The smile Sato showed now was no longer unreadable but clearly a happy one.

"Yes, but let's hope all is what it appears to be. What if he tries to betray us?"

"That's a possibility of course. But don't worry, I have my methods of confirming someone's trustworthiness", Sato said, still smiling.

Okuyama did not doubt this. He looked at the ceiling, illuminated by soft morning light. Then he looked at Sato who had taken a seat on the chair Gen had placed next to Okuyama's bed last even-ing. "Sato-san? You know, I really don't want to force you to stay. I feel much better than yesterday, I can stay by myself."

"That's really considerate of you but I can't just leave. If Gen finds out that would be the worst kind of way to betray his trust. And don't worry, I don't mind staying."

"Maybe I should regenerate after all?"

"No, it's all right, we have to draw a line somewhere. Otherwise what comes next? Regenerating due to a paper cut?"

Due to a paper cut. It started to get absurd again. Okuyama could not suppress a quiet laugh. "God, please, no."

Sato chuckled. "Though they hurt a lot. But sometimes you have no choice but to live with the pain."

Okuyama blamed it on the still existing fever that he said the next sentence out loud. "You make it sound funny. But back in school I used to get papercuts all the time. It's the sort of risk that comes when you read a lot."

"A truly underestimated danger then, I see", Sato said, amusement still present in his voice.

Okuyama did not know why there were laughing like this. It was not like the subject was particularly funny. But to his relieve this small laughing fit had erased any tension that had still been lingering inside of him. Which was nice. Okuyama did his best to hide it but actually he felt tense a lot. Feeling light-headed due to the fever again he once again stared at the ceiling. Outside he could hear the birds singing as they did every day at this time in the morning. Or maybe he should have called it screaming instead of singing. Okuyama was still in awe that songbirds this small could produce such a loud noise. But he was not complaining. Actually he was glad that the steady noise made it impossible for an awkward silence to settle in. Not that the chance of this was high. Silences spend with Sato rarely felt awkward after all. But still.

"Are you feeling dizzy or something?", Sato asked.

Okuyama guessed this was the case. "Not much, just a bit."

"So yes then. Did you already take your medicine today?"

"No. Not yet."

"I'll fetch it for you."

Turned out that the medication was not the only thing Sato brought. It came along with a wet washcloth.

"Your face still looks like it is on fire", Sato said, as he placed it on Okuyama's forehead.

"Well then", was the only answer Okuyama managed to say. The cloth really felt wonderfully cool on his flushed skin. The birds outside were still singing. He could not tell if his skin felt this hot only due to the fever or because Sato had just touched it.

O O O

To Okuyama's relieve it did not take long get better again. Once the fever was gone he soon felt better again. A few days later he already was back at his computers. But here he was already faced with the next problem. He looked out of the window, seeing the heavy rain falling down outside. It did not look like it would stop any time now, so waiting would make no sense.

He was putting on his raincoat and getting ready to leave when Sato walked by. "Hey, everything ok? Where do you have to go to?", he asked.

"To the electronics store. I've run out of some equipment and can't go on working unless I have it."

"Don't you want to wait until the rain stops? You just got better."

Okuyama shook his head. "I can't continue until I have it. It's fine, the fever's gone, I'm much better now."

Sato frowned in disagreement. "You tend to say that even if you're not." He grabbed his own coat and got an umbrella ready. "Tell you what, if you really have to go now I'll come with you. At least I can make sure you don't get soaked."

Okuyama felt a blush setting his cheeks on fire. "It's just rain. I can deal with rain by myself, remember?"

Sato smiled, looking like he started to enjoy himself. "I know that you can, nobody questions that. But I want to come along. So allow me to shield you from the rain today, ok?"

Okuyama avoided his gaze. "Fine, if you insist. But you don't have to if you don't want to."

Sato opened the door. "But I want to, so the issue's settled then."

Once outside Okuyama got surprised by how chilly it suddenly had become. Summer really seemed to be over then. Avoiding the huge puddles that had already formed on the pavement he walked closer to Sato who was holding the umbrella over the both of them. Despite his initial reluctance to accept help, he was beginning to be glad that Sato was coming along with him. It was not simply raining, it was a heavy downpour. The fierceness of it had his mind so heavily occupied for the first few minutes that he forgot to get nervous about the fact that he and Sato were walking close to each other. Very close. There was no other choice, he would get wet otherwise. Okuyama had to supress a sigh. "Looks like autumn has arrived", he said.

"Seems like it", Sato said, for some reason still sounding as amused as he had looked back in the hallway.

"I usually don't mind rain but this is cruel", Okuyama said, silently cursing the next moment. The weather. He and Sato were talking about the weather. Very creative.

Once they had reached the electronics store, Okuyama was glad for the shelter it provided. But he also felt a tiny sense of loss. Just now that he was getting used of walking so close to Sato they had to separate again. All of this was just too confusing. Okuyama picked up the equipment he needed, a task that did not take long. After all, a surrounding like this felt familiar to him.

Once they were back at the street again, it still was pouring. Wordlessly Sato opened the umbrella, making room for Okuyama to stand under. So, back to walking awfully close to each other again. Okuyama did his best to maintain a neutral expression. The falling rain made such a loud noise that there was no point in trying to maintain a conversation. But not only sound was numbed out. The heavy rain had laid a grey and damp curtain over the world, making it impossible to make out any details that were far away. It being such a lousy weather there were barely people on the street either. For Okuyama it felt like he and Sato were the only people left in this world. And would it not be nice if this really was the case? If there was no one left who would face a threat to them or was trying to bother them in some other way? Had this not been the rea-son Okuyama had joined this group in the first place? To for once make sure that the people threatening his safety would be hurt before they had a chance to hurt him? With a shudder Okuyama remembered what Tanaka had told him about the time he had been held in that horrible laboratory. No, the people responsible for this could not expect Okuyama to feel any pity for them. Not just because they were a threat to him. But also because they had already harmed his friend. Okuyama avoided a puddle, walking even closer to Sato to do so. Now that he thought about it, a world with only Sato and him in it was a bit lonely. Tanaka, Gen and Takahashi should be there too. But everyone else could just disappear.

Suddenly Sato gave him a worried glance. "You're very pale, are you all right?"

"I'm a bit exhausted but it's ok."

"Well, you had quite the fever. Maybe you should have rested a bit longer."

"I'm just a bit tired", Okuyama said.

"If you say so", Sato said, still looking worried.

Okuyama's stomach started to cramp together. Why did Sato just give him these concerned looks? Okuyama remembered the conversation they have had that one time they were playing Mario. They had joked about their experiences with an ill leg and Sato had said that Okuyama should search for someone who carried an umbrella for him when it was raining. And now here they were. But that was just a coincidence, right? It was not like, like Sato liked him back, right?

Back home Okuyama was glad to finally be out of the rain. But he had not much more time to ponder on the thoughts that had once more brought him confusion and doubt. Sato had obviously said the truth when he had said that he was worrying about Okuyama. "You can continue working tomorrow. You're still much too pale, go and lie down a bit."

It was true that Okuyama was feeling lightheaded but he felt ashamed that once more he appeared so weak. He shook his head in reluctance. "I've rested enough, once I sit down it will be much better."

Sato showed that unreadable smile of his. "And if you lie down you will recover even faster. So be a good boy and stop pushing yourself into exhaustion and if it's only for my piece of mind."

"Fine, if it's ok I lie down a bit."

"I'll send my ghost to make sure you do", Sato said, sounding satisfied.

But ten minutes later it was not Sato's black ghost who came into Okuyama's room but Sato himself. He showed a smile again but this time not his unreadable but a content one. "So you can be reasonable if you try. I'm glad to see you're finally in bed, where you belong."

"I had no chance with you insisting like this."

"You left me no other choice so I'm afraid that I can't say I'm sorry."

Okuyama sighed. "I'm not complaining."

"You're not? This surprises me, you looked rather unhappy about me interfering."

"I wasn't unhappy. Just… surprised." Though he no longer felt lightheaded Okuyama felt the confusion of earlier creep up upon him. He did not get it. He did not get why Sato was standing next to his bed being concerned about him. Okuyama had to avoid his gaze, looking at the wall instead. "Why are you always so worried about me?", Okuyama finally asked, voice barely audible.

Sato looked at him with a thoughtful look, "Am I bothering you? I'm sorry if that's the case."

Hectically Okuyama shook his head, feeling his face blushing. "No, I'm not bothered by it, I just don't understand." Forcing himself to calm down he continued in a steadier voice. "It's just that people don't care about me. It doesn't happen."

Unlikely as it seemed Okuyama could have sworn that he saw a trace of sadness in Sato's eyes before he continued speaking. "About time someone does then."

Okuyama did not know what to say to this. It still felt like his cheeks were on fire.

"I care about you because I want to, is that an answer you can accept?", Sato asked.

"Yes, I guess."

"Very good then. Now stop worrying so much and sleep a bit. You look like you need it."

To Okuyama's own surprise he fell asleep very quickly though he had so many new things to think about. His dreams were eventful and vivid but once he had woken up he had forgotten what they had been about.

O O O

Okuyama would not have admitted it towards anyone but getting new drones and preparing them for their next move was just so much fun. Everything about them was just so exiting. It was like having a remote-controlled toy aeroplane but including countless cool extras.

So being in the garage together with Takahashi and Gen, the three of them working on the drones, felt really pleasant actually. Not just because of the machines. Working together with those two was easy. They quickly understood the instructions Okuyama was giving them and carried them out reliably. It was easy to forget when those two were in a goofy mood but Takahashi and Gen actually could be quite competent.

Gen looked at the drone in awe. "That thing's even going to be more impressive than the last one."

"It will be, won't it?", Takahashi answered, smiling warmly at Gen.

Okuyama had to avert his eyes, suddenly developing an intense interest in the different sized wrenches. His chest felt very hollow. The last few years he had come to the conclusion that the so called one true love was a concept invented by the entertainment industry to sell movie tickets and by chocolate factories who wanted to cash in on Valentine 's Day. Being around Gen and Takahashi made him doubt his theory. Only the next moment he silently scolded himself. He considered them his friends. Why couldn't he just be happy for them? But then, well, Okuyama was happy for them. It was just that he desperately wished a certain someone would look at him the same way Takahashi looked at Gen.

The ringing of a mobile phone disturbed all thoughts. Takahashi picked up his phone. "Yeah?... Ok… See you in a minute then." Having ended the conversation he looked at Gen. "It was Tanaka. Nekozawa-san and his men just delivered new material and the two of us should help putting it in the storage room."

Gen laid down the screwdriver he had been holding. "Got it." He looked at Okuyama. "You ok with us leaving you alone like this?"

"Sure, no problem", Okuyama said.

The next twenty minutes Okuyama spend working on the drone in silence, his concentration just occasionally disturbed by a songbird singing outside. Heavens, was it normal for such a tiny creature to produce such a loud noise? Not that Okuyama knew much about birds. But the liveliness of the ones around the new hideout was hard to ignore. Well, hardly a surprise in an area as deserted as this one, it probably was ideal bird land. Not many pet cats around to disturb them. At least Okuyama assumed that birds preferred to live in a place devoid of cats. If he'd been a bird he certainly would have thought so. With a sigh he remembered the grey cat he had owned as a child and how it sometimes had brought home the tiny creatures it had killed as a present. Okuyama had not been angry at it for living out his instincts as a predator but looking at the frail bodies of the mice or small birds it had killed always had made him feel incredibly sad. One time the cat had even presented a bat. Thoughtfully Okuyama looked at the machine he was working on. If the organisations profiting from using ajin would ever manage to get a hold on him he would share the same fate than those tiny creatures his cat had used to catch. Not in a million years would he let that happen.

Okuyama heard the sound of the door opening. He turned around and saw Sato coming into the room.

Sato gestured at the drone. "How's it going?"

"Good. We've made a lot of progress today. Not much needed until it's finished."

"Excellent. Show me", Sato said, sitting down on the plastic chair next to Okuyama.

Okuyama tried not to get distracted at how close Sato suddenly was. It was only the same place Gen had been sitting just minutes ago, so nothing weird about it. Except for the fact that it was no longer Gen sitting there but the person constantly making a mess out of Okuyama's thoughts and feelings. No problem, concentrate on the facts and it will be fine. So Okuyama started to explain the technical details, taking the remote control and demonstrating the new functions of the drone. Just a few moments later and Okuyama had his confusion under control. Talking about this new project was just too much fun. Especially with Sato listening this intently. It was one thing to have a thing that made you excited. But it was another one to find someone interested hearing about it. So Okuyama just went on talking about this new project he had worked on so hard.

"Impressive what you accomplished with this drone", Sato said, looking at it.

Okuyama shook his head. "I had some ideas what to do with it. I'm glad everything worked out the way I intended it to."

"You really like working with these things, do you?"

"Quite. Drones offer so many possibilities. If you're a bit creative you can do so many cool things with them."

Then Sato looked Okuyama in the eyes, seeming to think intently before continuing. "You really enjoy them. You sound so happy when talking about them." And now Sato was smiling at Okuyama too. And realizing what was happening Okuyama wished it had been one of those unreadable smiles he couldn't really figure out. Because once more he had no idea how to deal with this situation. Okuyama did not know how he should deal with Sato smiling warmly at him. Because right now that had to mean that it made Sato happy that Okuyama was happy and the whole idea was just too complicated to fully comprehend. What does that mean anyway, that I sound happy when talking about them, why would he even notice such a thing, Okuyama thought, feeling the confusion inside him grow. And only the next moment he realised that he had not only sounded happy. He noticed that his face showed the meanwhile frozen smile he had just worn moments ago. Okuyama had smiled. He had smiled the entire time he had been talking. How had he realized this so late? After all he rarely smiled. He just did not feel like it very often. It was a well-known fact, the people surrounding him remarked on it frequently enough. And now he had talked about this project, smiling and sounding like an overly excited little kid.

Starting to feel self-conscious Okuyama averted his gaze, looking at the floor. "I just think drones are interesting, that's all."

"I never thought much about them but since you have so many ideas for their use I can't ignore them any longer", Sato said, sounding as carefree as he had just moments ago.

It's so unfair, Okuyama thought. How could Sato always sound like nothing was wrong? He was always acting like everything was nothing more than a source of fun. Not matter if he was about to hijack a plane or single-handedly rescued Okuyama and the others from Forge Security, Sato always treated those things like they were nothing more than sources of entertainment. And here Okuyama was, constantly worrying, not even feeling comfortable about the picture he presented to the world around him.

"Is that so?", he answered, reluctant drawing his gaze away from the floor, forcing himself to look Sato in the eyes again. Just to feel his stomach drop by what he saw. Those look Takahashi had given Gen earlier? This was how Sato was looking at Okuyama right now. Well, not that it looked entirely the same. But the emotion behind it was.

"Okuyama-kun, is it really so hard to believe anyone's impressed with you?", Sato asked.

Okuyama shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. The things I can do are useful. So that makes me useful."

"I don't mean your work. I mean you as a person."

"There's nothing special about me."

"Would there be any answer to make you think the opposite?", Sato said, suddenly sounding sad.

Okuyama could not suppress a wistful smile. "I wish there was. But it's not as easy like that isn't it?"

Sato sighed. "Oh, but it should be."

"It's ok. I know I'm not the sort of person who tends to be popular. People want cute and funny and those are things I can't offer."

"I disagree. I think you are cute", Sato said, sounding like he did nothing else than stating an obvious fact.

Okuyama started to feel that certain kind of confusion creep up upon him he had gotten so familiar with the last few weeks. "Oh, am I?"

"Certainly. You're so cute, I could kiss you right here and now."

For a short moment Okuyama just stared back. And then he wished for all this stupid uncertainty and frustration just to end already. "Don't let yourself be stopped then."

Okuyama's breath hitched in terror due to what he had just said. Where exactly had he found the boldness to say that one out loud? It would turn out to be a mistake, just like most things he attempted to be bold at turned out to be a mistake. That was the problem with himself. He overanalysed things and gave them a meaning they did not have, making an idiot out of himself in the process.

These few seconds were enough for Okuyama to work himself into a panic but only moments later his mind stopped worrying. And not only did it stop worrying it stopped thinking altogether. There were just too many things to be distracted by. Like the fact that Sato was suddenly very close, combing his hands through Okuyama's hair. And the soft and warm pressure on Okuyama's lips. Sato was kissing him. Okuyama's breath hitched again but this time for completely another reason. He tried to gain control over himself again and somehow managed to kiss back. Okuyama's sense of time left him, he was too distracted by how close and warm everything around him suddenly had become. The kiss only broke when they had run out of breath. Okuyama's head was spinning. He did not know where to look at, fixing his gaze on the floor. Thankfully the garage was not lit very well. The small windows just let a bit of daylight in and the spotlight of the only lamp being lit was directed at the drone. But before Okuyama could think too much about the tension that was building up inside of him he felt himself being drawn in for another kiss. At least he now managed to breathe more calmly. Though he still felt tense he realized that the latest turn of events had not really surprised him. In a way he had known what would be coming, had seen what the interaction between him and Sato had been building up to. But deep down he still had been trying to convince himself that he was just overinterpreting meaningless things. Okuyama had not dared letting himself hope that for once someone he liked might like him back too. It was easier to doubt and dismiss things in the beginning than having your hopes crushed.

When the kiss broke, this time Okuyama somehow managed to muster up the courage to look Sato in the eyes. And for sure, Sato did not look even half as nervous as Okuyama was feeling. Of course he did not. Instead he was smiling warmly at Okuyama and said. "You know, I was really starting to worry that you don't like me back. Because the thing is, I like you a lot."

Okuyama's face started to feel awfully hot. "It's not like that. I just didn't know what to do. Besides, I wasn't sure myself if you like me back too, so yeah."

"I was afraid I'd scare you off if I get any less subtle", Sato said, suddenly looking thoughtful.

"Well, I'm not scared", Okuyama said. Not, he was not scared. He felt nervous and embarrassed but not scared. His face still felt hot though. He quietly added: "I'm just not good with this sort of things."

"I tell you a secret. Neither am I."

"I'm getting the feeling you're just saying this to calm me down", Okuyama said, slightly smiling.

"Calming you down? Are you this nervous?"

"Not much. Just a bit."

"So, yes"

Okuyama shook his head in protest, starting to get angry at himself for appearing so oversensitive and pathetic. He had managed to keep his calm in situations that had been outright dangerous, why were his nerves failing him now?

For a short moment Sato seemed to be thinking about something and then his face suddenly showed an expression disturbingly close to worry. "Don't look so upset, Okuyama-kun. Hey, come here for a moment." And with this Okuyama felt himself being wrapped up in an embrace.

God, it was actually nice being held like this. Alone for the fact that he did not have to worry about what kind of weird expression his face was making. And Sato's arms had such a strong grip. Being held by them felt reassuring. Like this Okuyama really could start believing that all of this was really happening. That for once a thing he was feverishly wishing for became reality instead of steadily moving farther and farther away from him. Slowly he put his own arms around Sato and hesitantly hugged back.

"It's ok", Sato said, combing one hand lazily through Okuyama's hair. Sato had done that exact movement before, when they had been kissing, Okuyama noticed.

"Yeah", Okuyama said, unable to withhold a shaky sigh. Breathing could be surprisingly tricky when it counted.

"What, do you think I'm going to abandon you now that I finally have you where I want you to be?", Sato said in an amused voice, emphasising his point by drawing Okuyama in even closer.

"That's not it. I just feel pathetic because I'm so nervous all the time."

"I don't think you're pathetic."

"You're in the minority then. Many people think I am", Okuyama said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"If I ever meet one of the people responsible for bringing down your self-esteem like this I'm going to make them pay", Sato said in a calm voice. Okuyama could not say if Sato was being earnest or not.

"That would be quite the long list though", Okuyama said.

"Never had a problem dealing with those."

Okuyama did not doubt this in the slightest. He sighed and cuddled a bit closer. Being defended and supported by another person felt so weird. But also kind of all right. Okuyama was perfectly able to look out for himself but to be honest it could be a bit exhausting sometimes.

Sato continued petting Okuyama's hair. "I'm glad you calmed down."

"Did it look this bad?", Okuyama asked.

"You looked like you were on the verge of hyperventilating."

"It just looks like it. I never actually do."

"I still don't like seeing you upset", Sato said.

"I kind of noticed."

"Does that bother you?", Sato asked, sounding slightly worried.

"It doesn't. I'm just surprised."

"That's a sad thing to say. I make sure you no longer will be surprised by it, promise."

A warm feeling started to spread through Okuyama's chest, chasing the last bit of anxiety away. He sighed once again but this time due to relieve. "That sounds nice. I would like that."

As nice as the atmosphere presently was, it could not last forever. Suddenly the sound of approaching footsteps could be heard. More as an automatic reaction than as a conscious decision they separated from each other, trying to appear as normal and unsuspicious as possible.

Only a moment later the door opened and Gen appeared. "Hey, about those assault rifles. We're not sure what to do with them exactly."

Sato nodded. "Oh, yes, we also got them in today, right. Wait, we come with you."

The three of them made their way to the storage room, Okuyama quietly walking behind. Once they had reached it and met the others he was still desperate not to draw any attention. Right now, surrounded by their weapons and in the company of all the others the things that had just happened between Okuyama and Sato seemed unreal. Okuyama tried his best to melt into the background. No matter what he did, he just felt as if there was a bright red neon sign hanging over his head, reading "I just made out with Sato-san and yes, I enjoyed it".

And maybe Okuyama's bad feeling was not this wrong. Because Gen kept giving him surprised little looks. Was there something wrong with his face, or what? That could not be, right? And besides, those new assault rifles where so much more interesting than he himself, so please, why could Gen just not ignore him?

Once the instructions on the new material was over, Okuyama was glad to finally be able to disappear. Maybe there was something wrong with his face after all, he had to check. He made sure to leave the room as the last one. But no such luck. Gen had been lagging behind, obviously waiting for him. At least everyone else was already out of earshot.

Gen started walking beside him. "Hey there."

Okuyama felt his face getting red. "Hey."

"Look, I know it isn't my business or anything. I just wanted to tell you I'm glad for you", Gen said, suddenly showing an embarrassed smile.

Okuyama awkwardly smiled back. "Oh, hey, that's very kind of you to say. But, um, what are you talking about?"

Gen made a vague gesture with his hand. "You know. It seems to go very well between Sato and you. So, just saying, I think that's cool."

What was it with everyone commenting on how well it was going between Okuyama and Sato, really? First Tanaka and now Gen. They weren't discussing this thing with each other, weren't they? This felt just like all the rumours about love and relationships in high school. Only this time for once it was Okuyama who was in the centre of the rumours. How unusual. Okuyama shrugged his shoulders, suddenly feeling completely overwhelmed. "Oh. Oh yeah. Okay."

Gen's face suddenly got a serious and determined expression. "The thing I actually wanted to say is that I'm rooting for you. If you ever feel there's a need to, please rely on me."

Okuyama did not know what to answer. First Gen had been looking out for him when he had been ill and now this. Okuyama said the only thing that came to his mind. "Thank you."

Gen showed an embarrassed smile. "That must have come out of the blue, sorry. Just wanted to tell you."

"No, it's ok. It's fine."

"Well, I'm glad then."

Some minutes later Okuyama finally had the chance to check his appearance in the bathroom mirror. To his relieve there was no actual neon sign hanging over his head. On the other hand, if one paid close attention, his lips were red and a bit swollen. So that must have been the thing that had given him away to Gen. Yes, his lips looked like this because he and Sato had really and actually kissed only moments ago. The memories of what had happened in the garage returned suddenly and strongly. Feeling embarrassed Okuyama had to turn his back to his own reflection in the mirror.

O O O

For the sake of appearance Okuyama had hoped that his lips would have the chance to go back to normal until morning. After all, it was beginning to be obvious that yes, the other three were talking about Sato and him. Alone the thought of standing in the centre of attention like this made Okuyama blush. But he was having no such luck. No such luck at all.

Some while after dinner, when it was beginning to be really quiet as everyone was starting to get tired and minding their own business, there was a knock on Okuyama's door. Tensely he looked up from the screen he was working on. There weren't much options of who this could be. During a normal time it could have been Tanaka. But currently he had been so busy to with the information that police guy was giving them that he barely had the time to hang around with Okuyama.

And Gen and Takahashi, well, during a time like this they were busy with whatever it was couples who were nauseatingly in love with each other were up to. Just a moment later Okuyama silently scolded himself for thinking so bitterly about his friends. There was no longer a reason he had to be envious of them. After all he had just gotten a love confession this afternoon from the guy he liked.

Ah yes. That love confession. It really wasn't much of a question who it might be that wanted to see him at this hour. On shaking knees that had nothing to do with his ill leg Okuyama made his way to the door.

And really, as he had suspected, once he had opened the door there was Sato standing before him. Once again he was wearing that unreadable smile, looking like he had no worry in this world. "Hey there. Finished getting those Mythenmetz files in we were talking about this morning?"

"Yeah. Just got the last few of them in."

"Wonderful. Let me see."

Okuyama just nodded, gesturing towards his laptop. "Sure. Come on in."

Once they had sat down before the desk, Okuyama started explaining the files. He knew that Sato was not actually here for the Mythenmetz documents. He just could have waited to hear about them tomorrow, after all it was not like they were urgent information at the moment. Yet Okuyama did not point this out, carefully explaining them anyway.

He explained everything he knew. He sighed, gesturing at the laptop whose screen lit up the dark room with blue light. "So, well, that's what we know about them so far."

Sato nodded. "I see. That was insightful."

"I hope it was", Okuyama said, suddenly feeling very self-aware and vulnerable. At least here in front of a screen he felt like he was in an environment he was in charge of.

The next moment Sato avoided his gaze, showing a lopsided smile that did not fit him at all. Or maybe it did fit him, yet for him to wear it was just so unexpected. "Actually, I'm not here for the Mythenmetz documents", Sato said, making it sound like a confession.

Okuyama nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, I realized."

"I know you did", Sato said, sounding amused, as if he were proud of Okuyama figuring it out.

For weeks Okuyama had been pondering about the fact how clueless he felt to deal with any of this romance stuff. But just in this moment he realized that Sato truly did not find it much easier than he himself. Okuyama had to think of that unsure smile Sato had shown moments ago. It just did not fit. Yet it had happened.

"Didn't know what to say though", Okuyama admitted, avoiding his gaze by turning his head to-wards the screen, the sudden movement making strands of his bangs fall in front of his eyes.

Sato's face got serious. "You're going to ruin your eyesight like this. Let me get that hair out of your eyes."

The next moment Sato carefully brushed those unruly strands out of Okuyama's face. Though Okuyama could see again, Sato continued to gently comb his hands through Okuyama's hair.

Nervously Okuyama cleared his throat. "My hair's rather long, though. Maybe I should cut it short."

Sato's eyes widened in horror. "Cutting it? No, don't do that! It's perfect like this. Don't cut it!"

Surprised by this emotive reaction Okuyama did not know how to respond. He still felt Sato's hands combing through his hair. Okuyama's face was starting to feel hot. "Perfect? Most people find it nerdy. I hear all the time that I should cut it."

"Don't listen to them. It looks good on you. I wouldn't lie about a thing like that, wouldn't I?"

"Guess not", Okuyama admitted, showing a slight smile though he still felt embarrassed by Sato's touch. But right, Sato had been petting his hair before, in the garage. When they had been kissing. So he really had to be genuine about liking Okuyama's hair. Reassuring to know.

"Fine, I'm not going to cut it", Okuyama said.

"Good to know. Don't scare me like that", Sato said, showing a lopsided smile that did not look unsure this time but satisfied.

A moment later Okuyama felt himself being softly kissed. For a moment he was still with surprise, then he hesitantly kissed back. With every bit the kiss deepened, Okuyama felt the tension leaving his body. He still was not sure if he got every technical aspect of this whole kissing and touching thing right, but judging by the way Sato kissed him back Okuyama could not be doing too awful. And now that his worries begun to leave him, he could hardly focus on anything else than how pleasant all of this felt. Finally, he was close to Sato once again.

Truth to be told, Okuyama had been yearning for Sato's touch since they had settled down before the desk to go over these Mythenmetz documents. But Okuyama just had not known what to do about it. Sure, Sato had confessed to him just hours ago. But even with the facts laid straight like this, things still felt so awkward. After all, just because a guy liked you back that hardly meant that you could jump onto his lap like an overexcited puppy the moment you were alone in a room together, right?

O O O

Pleasant distractions aside, there were still a handful of problems Okuyama had to deal with. His black ghost for starters. Meanwhile he could control it good enough to make it speak and follow orders he was giving it. But one issue remained: He still could summon it only once a day. Something had to be done about that. After all Tanaka and Takahashi could summon theirs twice a day too.

So Okuyama went on training his ghost. If he continued doing so he somehow just had to manage to summon it two times a day. And really, after relentlessly training for several days the first progress started to show. Though Okuyama could still only summon it once per day, the time span the ghost could manifest went on longer and longer.

In his second week of training Okuyama got an unexpected distraction. Sato's ghost, still wandering around on his own several times per week, walked in on Okuyama's training session. Once again it appeared to be completely harmless but curious, wringing its hands as it so often did when roaming around on its own. It suddenly stopped walking, head angled to the side, as if watching with curiosity. Now that was unexpected. Normally Okuyama did not mind Sato's black ghost walking in on his activities. But these training sessions were meant to be a secret, at least for the moment. Okuyama did not want to talk about it before he could show at least a bit of progress. But he hardly could ask Sato's ghost to leave.

Instead he just vaguely nodded in its direction as a silent matter of greeting. This seemed to encourage the ghost. Calmly it wandered closer, looking with interest at Okuyama's ghost while doing so. Once it had gotten nearer, the two ghosts were looking at each other with curiosity.

Shortly after that Sato's ghost continued his way, walking away from them. Okuyama could manage to hear the silent words it was muttering under his breath while doing so: "Always so reliable, our Masumi, he's always so hardworking, amazing."

It did not happen every day that you got praised by a mysterious being so Okuyama did not know how to react.

O O O

The thing with the Mythenmetz documents had not been an exception. These days, usually after dinner, Sato would come up with an issue he wanted Okuyama's help with. Once they had settled down before Okuyama's desk it usually lasted ten minutes, sometimes only five. Then they would start making out.

The fact that Sato still searched for an excuse to see Okuyama most likely meant that he just felt as awkward about this new situation as Okuyama did. But then Okuyama was in no place to complain. After all he did not feel any braver. As cliché as it sounded, some things just needed some time to get used to and could not be rushed. Even if, no, especially not if it was about some-one you really liked.

And besides, those rocky starts aside, once they did actually start kissing the whole atmosphere started to be a whole lot more comfortable, Okuyama mused, as he cuddled closer to Sato. Yes, cuddled. It had been a really pleasant surprise but apparently Sato liked after-making-out-cuddles just as much as Okuyama did. Who would have thought?

Okuyama sighed, trying to catch his breath. Being kissed by Sato was nice but it had the tendency to steal his breath. Not that he was complaining. And besides, he was not the only one feeling like this. With his head lying on Sato's chest he could hear the silent but deep breaths Sato was taking to get some air. Hearing this made Okuyama sleepy. He could barely held his eyes open any longer. He had to give them a rest, just for a little while he had to close them.

Despite himself Okuyama must have been fallen asleep. The next time he opened his eyes his room was lit into the bright orange light of the setting sun. He got aware of the small movements that had gotten him awake. Someone was arranging a blanket around him. Oh, yes, right, Sato. Okuyama was still lying in his bed together with him, head still resting on Sato's shoulder. Groggily he brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes that had gotten astray during his nap.

"Hey there. Awake again?", Sato said. Being this close Okuyama almost felt Sato's voice more than that he heard it.

"Ah, yes. I wasn't even planning on falling asleep."

"I'm not surprised you did. You looked really tired."

"Guess I was", Okuyama said.

"Did you stay up late again, working?", Sato asked, beginning to softly comb through Okuyama's hair. He really liked doing that.

"Not exactly. I did some training the last few weeks."

"Training? Tell me."

Okuyama leaned up on his elbow, so that he could look Sato in the eyes. It was funny, once they did spend time this close together it never felt awkward talking or looking at each other. Just initiating it made him feel a bit shy. Though even that was becoming easier. Okuyama cleared his throat. "So. I was thinking that there were some things about my black ghost I should improve."

Sato's eyes had gotten a curious look. "Yes?"

"I was only able to summon it once per day, right? Well, since a few days I can summon it twice a day. And the durations I can make it show up have gotten longer too."

"You managed to do that? Now that's nice to hear."

"Yeah. Thought it might be useful."

"Absolutely", Sato sighed, looking pleased. Okuyama felt a hollow sensation in his stomach. Getting those approving looks from Sato made his head feel funny. He could not get enough of them.

Okuyama felt his elbow weaken. He had to lie down again. He aimed for the pillow but Sato carefully tugged on Okuyama's shoulders until he was lying on top of Sato again.

"Thought it was about time I could bring it out twice a day too. It's nothing, really." Okuyama mumbled.

"But you managed to do so in such a short time. You were fast to make it talk once you had started working on that too. You're always so efficient once you start working on something", Sato said while gently stroking Okuyama's back.

"It's nothing special", Okuyama said, taken aback by how shaky his voice had just sounded. It just was too much. Getting praised by Sato like this, for some reason it always made his head spin.

"Of course it's special. No wonder you were looking so tired during the last few days", Sato said, leisurely slipping his hands under Okuyama's shirt, continuing to tenderly caress his back.

Okuyama's breath hitched. He could not help it. Those stormy first kisses they had shared back on that day in the garage, Okuyama had liked that too. But he liked it the most when Sato was touching him gently like this right now. In moments like this Okuyama could not just accept it with his head that Sato really wanted him to be around. In moments like this he could actually feel it.

"You're always so efficient. I heard how swiftly you dealt with those people at Forge Security. You know, if it weren't for your leg, you would be the most dangerous of them all", Sato whispered, softly tugging at the parts of Okuyama's clothes that still were in the way of his touch.

Was he trying to undress Okuyama? He was not actually trying to undress Okuyama, right? So far they had kissed and made out with each other so many times, but done nothing that would have acquired them to get rid of their clothes. Okuyama could feel himself blushing. He shook his head. "What I did at Forge Security was nothing. I just followed the plan all of us had developed."

"Sato's voice started sounding heavy. "It's one thing to just do it but entirely another to do it as calmly as you did. Gen told me the whole story today. You should have told me the details yourself, they were very interesting."

"I just followed the plan." It was true. There had been nothing to brag about. And heaven, Okuyama could not think properly with Sato slipping his hands under Okuyama's clothes like this.

Sato continued touching Okuyama. And yes, he was very definitely in the process of removing their clothes. "I wish I had seen you electrocuting those guards."

"They were approaching. It just needed to be done."

"It really fits you. Electrocuting your opponents."

Okuyama wanted to answer but before he could do so he was kissed very deeply by Sato. By the time they were gasping for air Okuyama had forgotten what he had wanted to say. Besides, helping Sato to get rid of their clothes seemed to be the better idea anyway.

The next time Sato once again drew Okuyama on top of himself there was a lot less fabric between them. Okuyama was far too nervous to feel ashamed about it. With shaking hands he gently caressed Sato's flushed face. Sato's eyes wore an open look Okuyama had never seen in them before.

Sato reached up and started brushing his hand through Okuyama's hair. "You poisoned an entire room full of employees too, didn't you?"

"Yes. Just like in the plan", Okuyama said.

"Did you find it hard to do?"

"I followed the steps I had thought out beforehand. It worked out like that."

"What did you think when you regenerated in the middle of all of those dead people?", Sato asked, eyes suddenly looking vulnerable.

Well, that was an easy answer. "That it's better to hurt people before I'm the one that gets hurt."

Sato looked relieved. "Yes, yes that's the better thing." Gently he drew Okuyama in closer, showering him with light little kisses. "You did so well", he whispered, continuing his caresses.

Once again Okuyama started to feel light headed. He searched for the right words. "Well, I can't afford to make mistakes. Not with a leg like this. Besides, I messed up and Tosaki got us in his trap anyway. So I was not that great."

"That bastard wasn't playing it fair. You will be better next time. Told you, you'd be the most dangerous with your leg working well."

"I still failed."

"Hush, I got you out of it, didn't I? And my main point remains, you've dealt with the targets beforehand admiringly", Sato said, preventing any further protest from Okuyama by kissing him.

For a long and blissful moment Okuyama lost himself into the kiss. Until a soft tugging at his remaining clothes made it very clear that yes, Sato was really planning to get rid of all of their clothes. If it were not for the fact that the last rays of the sun had vanished and the room was illuminated into a cool blue light Okuyama's red face would have stood out mercilessly.

Sato sensed his discomfort anyway. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just don't really know what to do."

"I'm not rushing things, aren't I?"

"No. It's ok. I just feel stupid because I don't know what to do", Okuyama said.

Sato started petting Okuyama's hair in a comforting manner. "No, don't. Don't feel stupid because of this."

"You're not disappointed then? With me I mean?"

"Of course I'm not. Wouldn't even know why I should be."

"Good. Good then", Okuyama sighed, finally feeling a bit calmer. Having his hair petted like this really felt reassuring. And now that his worries began to disappear he could feel that yes, he wanted to continue things too. Being close like this actually felt really good, good enough that any last trace of shyness was getting overshadowed. So Okuyama decided that he would put his last doubts aside and just trust that Sato knew what he was doing. After all this had worked out well until now.

But Okuyama had no idea how to put any of this into words. So he just leaned down instead, drawing Sato in for a long, deep kiss; hoping that it would make clear his thoughts on the matter. Apparently it did. Confronted with this much initiative by Okuyama Sato let hear a satisfied groan and leaned in closer just as Okuyama had done moments ago. Things then got very intense very fast. When the last remains of their clothes were gone Okuyama did not even have the time to feel self-aware about it he just was glad that they were finally out of the way.

Okuyama had always feared that the things that would follow from this point on would be different in an intimidating way. Surely they had to be, right? There had to be a reason everyone was making so much fuss about it. But to his great relieve this did not turn out to be the case. He was still alongside the person most dear to him. And during all of the things they were doing Sato treated him with the same care he had shown Okuyama all those times before when they had just been kissing and holding each other. So yes, Okuyama still felt a bit nervous but he was not scared.

By the time Okuyama was able to form a coherent thought again even the last trace of the cool blue evening light had vanished. Outside of the window there was nothing else to be seen but darkness. He guessed that turning on the lamp standing on his bedside table was theoretically an option. But on practical terms this would have meant that he would have to untangle his arms that were presently wrapped around Sato's waist and the idea alone seemed unbearable. Instead Okuyama snuggled closer. This idea was rewarded with Sato putting soft little kisses on top of Okuyama's hair. Okuyama could not withhold a content sigh.

Sato chuckled. "You're like a cat."

"Well, it's gotten cold outside and you're warm."

"I'm glad to be of service then."

"Wonderful."

"It is", Sato said so quietly that Okuyama could barely hear him, pulling Okuyama into an even softer embrace. Sato's next words were audible again but still said in a quiet voice: "You're very important to me, you know that, right?"

Suddenly Okuyama felt shyer than he had been during everything they had just done together. "Ah, hmm, I was hoping this but there was no way I could know for sure."

"So, you know it now."

Okuyama felt his body tense up. This was more than just a love confession. They had done that one in the garage. This felt like admitting for real that you wanted to stay together. Okuyama was not good talking about his feelings but this, this he wanted to get right. "That's good. That's good to hear. So, well. You know. You're important to me too, very important, you know."

Okuyama felt Sato's arms tighten around him "I know. I tell you what, Masumi my love, you make me happy."

Once again Okuyama was at loss for words. So he just cuddled back. "Same", he mumbled.

Eventually Okuyama managed to turn on the lamp. It turned out to be the right decision. Talking to the person you liked was good but being able to see them while doing so was even better.

The End

_AN: This fic is also cross posted to ao3. _


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